in-joke: The Perfect Hong Kong Cantonese! lol.

Hong kong’s innovation is our ability to stay deeply Cantonese (keeping one hand on the ancients) at the same time as we do play-time with every known and unknown empire that rise and fall on this earth….so when pommes were in charge we do Bruce Lee with a Man.U “feel”, when Americans hung out we do Stephen Chow with a touch of Disney and when its Commie North….lol. we just Andy Lau & Eminem their commie arses with a bit of Scouse Power! Life is like that….the ONE thing WE NEVER DO is Apologise for being who we are! Asking a Hong Kong Cantonse to apologise for being ourselves and trying to Change us with Propaganda,  is  an Invitation to WAR!

The perfect Cantonese :

i) Has always been from Southern China is Tang, at least for the last 3000 yrs.
ii) Has 5 generations in HK
iii) Has at least a double degree (law or eco) and Masters in law, Eco or biz.and will complete his or her Ph.D in due time!
iv) will retire and run the Hong kong Legislative council.
v) teaches at a university as a hobby.
vi) Has 1.8 kids and the daughters always get the most education.
vii) Is perfectly extroverted and can argue in their sleep.
viii) Speaks at least 2.5 languages fluently.
iX) Has a Platinum credit card (one in each kind) but NEVER EVER use the credit up at all.
x) plays musical house around the world.
xi) Is a member of the Hong kong jockey club, hong kong sailing club or HK legislative council.

xii) Will tell endless stories about how they downsized to a hovel to make sure their children goes to an Ivy or a Group of 8 school!
xiii) Would rather kill their kids then have them underachieve.
xiv) Have at least 1 Child Running a Major Fortune 50 institution and another one Running the vatican and/or some Ivy unversity..
xv) Have grandparents who went to school with Sun Yat sen and spits regularly on pictures of Chairman Mao (that I do! No worries!)
xvi) Plays musical instruments like Yoyo ma and compose peotry like Li Ba AND is a Professional artist as a hobby.
xvii) Never lets a deal go and NEVER allow someone else to get the last word in an argument, even if it takes 1000 yrs to settle the score!
xviii) Has travelled to every place in the known world and tasted all the food/culture there but ONLY deep down wants to eat simple fish balls and rice soups! (in manner of good Taoist)
xiix) Either does Shaolin and/or Tai chi to grandmaster level!
xix) Knows all 5-9 generations of their equally perfect relatives and respects them all! In fact, they all holiday together like in the sitcoms!

xx) is Perfectly cynical about everything that happens to the world because EVERYTHING is a trade/life opportunity to be optimistically piranha about money, activities, culture & innovation! Take no prisoners!

We are the original people who invented the concept of The Corporation BUT remember WE are ALSO the First place to have a Community Chest in Asia that made sure we  provided decent Schools, Education, Hospitals & Elderly Care to the poor, the refugees who came to us seeking political asylum from oppressive dictatorships! We don’t always get things right, but we gave it a good shot! There are problems in Hong kong, lets not pretend otherwise. But once upon a time, we took the money out of Confiscated EARNINGS from EXCESSIVE INSIDER TRADING, stupid bookies Race-fixing at Hong Kong Jockey Club and whenever we Get hold of the Tax evasion of Drug lords, we confiscate the lot (usually in Bars of Gold) and put it to build hospitals and stuff!!!!!! Why don’t we do this again and more of it?

If you are going to be “nuts” like a good Cantonese….be a PERFECT CANTONESE, USE YOUR CONSCIENCE! 

P.S I don’t want to be Rude to Dr. Sun Yat Sen…but he really really really goes on in Cantonese, nagging the nation to be educated, to be intelligent , be Democratic…etc…etc…in the same type of Voice as my Grandpa…they just will not stop nagging until they get their way…its like….some sort of NLP or just pure nag-nag-nag until you do what they want!!!!! I challenge you to be able to Sit through the entire recording of Dr. Sun doing Cantonese NAGGING on RADIO!!!!!!

If you speak a different Dialect of chinese other than Cantonese, this is a Traditional Chinese transcript:

孫中山先生應上海《中國晚報》邀請，於1924年5月30日於廣州南堤小憩灌錄講演錄音唱片，此粵語講演題《救國方­針》。（註：以下為本人聽譯內容，其中可能有誤。並有數處因錄音問題，意思不詳。）
上海《中國晚報》請孫大元帥演講
諸君，我們大家是中國人，我們知道中國幾千年來是世界上頂富頂強之國家，誰不知道呢？但是現在的中國是什麼情形呢？中國現在變成¬世界上頂貧頂弱的國家，中國的人民到海外­，就被外國人欺負凌辱，看不上一個人樣。在中國內，外國對我們的政府，對我們的國家亦¬看不起。所以，外國就有意對中國來瓜分（．．．）。後來，覺得瓜分很難實行，恐怕因­為瓜分中國會惹起各國攻打自己。所以，現在各¬國就協同商量，要把中國國事來共管，大家來共管中國，就是看不起中國，以為中國不能自己治中國。
諸君，試想想，我們中國幾千年來是世界一個文明的國家。幾千年前中國最強盛的時代，可謂千邦進貢萬國來朝，各國都拜中國上風。到¬今日，中國反為退化，這是為了什麼緣故呢­？中國從滿州征服以後，中國人就失了國家精神。中國亡國於滿州二百六十多年，中國人民在¬這二百六十多年之內睡著了。所以，中國就政治退化、文明退化，工商業退化，中國所­以到今日民窮財盡，變成各國都看不起。
中國墮落到今日的地位，我們作為國民要有一種什麼感覺呢？我們對於國家，第一知道我們今日之危險，先知道危險，我們就要設法避開¬危險，用什麼方法能避開危險呢？就要大家­同心協力來贊成革命，用革命方法、用革命主義來救中國。革命主義是什麼呢？就是我們的三¬民主義。第一，民族主義；第二，民權主義；第三，民生主義，用這三種主義來救中國­。這三種主義，我們大家要留心、要考究。那末，¬從哪裡能考究這三民主義呢？對於三民主義，我近日在廣東高師，每個禮拜演說一次。頭一講民族主義，演說了六個禮拜講完；第­二講民¬權主義，又演說了六個禮拜講完；第三講民生主義，不日再來演講。現在這民權主義、民族主義已經刻印出書。就要諸君留心三民主義，¬要將這三民主義、這些演說，要留­心詳細閱讀。這三民主義是講得很透澈的，是發揮得很精密的，內裡有好多新思想、好多新發明。諸君¬能讀這三民主義，就曉得用什麼方法來救國。我們能按照三民主義這種方法、­這種精神，大家同心協力來救國，那中國就可以反弱為強、-轉貧為富、就可以同今日之列強並駕齊驅！

8 comments on “in-joke: The Perfect Hong Kong Cantonese! lol.”

1. ceciliawyu

   April 21, 2012

   

   Thanks for the “like” Lesley Carter and keeping in touch. I know you are so busy with your online magazine. It is amazing that you get 80,000 hits a month on your blog and about 1 million follow!!!! You are another brilliant Aussie and I’m glad we blog-conneccted!:) XO XO (CC)

   P.S I got Muzungu to contact you re: our eco-project…see how it goes…..if its not your “thing” I can send him over to elephantjournal…they have a good following too! 🙂

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3. Prator

   April 7, 2012

   

   I simply wanted to thank you so much once again. This is an intimidating blog for me! Looking at your specialisation, it made me weep with delight. lol. I am thankful for your guidance and hope you are aware of the amazing job you are undertaking in teaching the mediocre ones thru your webblog. You have never all of us…but you talk as if you have.

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   • ceciliawyu

     April 9, 2012

     

     Thank you for your lovely comment. Happy Easter & Happy Holi! Cecilia

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4. ceciliawyu

   April 5, 2012

   

   For everyone, Antonio suggested that maybe some of you need to read the “flip side” to all this insane “Hong kong injoke”…this is ALSO hong kong! 🙂 http://www.cnngo.com/hong-kong/life/how-be-local-10-tips-faking-it-316802

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5. ur "frog" facebook fans

   April 4, 2012

   

   Hi there very cool website!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds ?I am happy to find numerous useful info, we want to work with more technology in this regard, thank you for sharing. . .I help with this . . . obtenir des milliers de fans gratuit pour votre page facebook? Sur ce site de mise en relation vous pouvez échanger des clics, j’aime, c’est gratuit, pas mal et plutôt efficace….do you understand?

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   • ceciliawyu

     April 6, 2012

     

     Oui, merci, mais peut-etre, je ne besoin pas des milliers de fans ….mais alors, vous etes tres gentil (e)? 🙂 Excusez-moi, mon français est terrible, j’ai besoin de beacoup de pratique! 🙂

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6. Julietta

   March 29, 2012

   

   I loved this as much as you. The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. Can you read my blog? http://www.modoweobsesje.blogspot.com/

   From Cecilia: I will as soon as I learn fluent Polish? haha. goodluck! Thank you. Maybe you could do with some pictures? (CC)

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