RIP Rest in Party, Sten von Essen (Baron or Count) …a belated Eulogy…

As I am preparing to attend the Nobel Prize Teachers Sumit next month in Stockholm, after a difficult year dealing with my academic colleagues who were civil society stakeholders and winners of the Nobel Peace Prize 2022, in Ukraine, I came across Fredrik Adolphson’s blog about Sten, being no longer with us. I was gravely surprised by this and contacted my old friends from VG Nation! Malin and I spoke by watsapp today and she confirmed the news.

I am saddened to hear this. I was an Australian law exchange student from Monash. It was a prisoners-swap of sort where someone from Uppsala got to take my place and I took his or her place in Sweden for one year!

I do not remember how I ended up joining VG Nation, because quite a lot of effort was made by Goteborg Nation’s “bad boy of the season” Niklas and inspite of our instant friendship, knowing he was on his way to his own prisoners-swap at Maastricht, so we knew our “hanging out” time was limited and we made some vague arrangements to catch up in Paris or Spain, whichever came first!

To cut a long story short, Peter Mokvist, also RIP now but he shall remain the most influential dearest of friend in my life, convinced me to join VG because we got along like a house on fire instantly, and he said,” We needed the membership money to restore the historic fresco art at VG.” He knew I was an artist, and it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship that lasted our lifetime!

It was at the first event at VG, that I found myself sitting next to Sten. For the first time, and for nearly every Gala and party thereafter! To the point where at the very last Summer gala, as we said goodbye because I was returning to Melbourne, jokingly I said to Sten,”We have to stop meeting like this! WE have only ever seen each other in glam rags! Come to Australia, let me get you into a pair of thongs (flip flops)….”

Amidst a roar of laughter from those overhearing our conversation, Sten reminded me of our first conversation. It went something like this:

Me: “What’s with the ring?”
Sten: “I got this when I became Baron. Now…you must be very careful here…I want to protect your virtue, there will be many flashing these silly things at you…lol.”
Me: “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about it. I am not a magpie…I don’t flock to any old shiny thing….hahahaha…”
Sten (laughing): “Cecilia…I think you are my kind of person…”

Me (still laughing): “Oh… 1Q Fredrik warned me about you…..hahahahaha…”

Sten (in the most dramatic and theatrical voice): “Don’t believe a word….upon my honour, if I become 1Q, I am going to mess with their seatings ….”
Me (completing his sentence): “…..until there’s a giant fistycuff! Hahahhahaha”

It was the beginning of another beautiful friendship……
….and so…..gala after gala…we found ourselves seated next to one another, and Sten found himself kissing the back of my gloved hand, A LOT of times….with great theatricality…..

I am so happy to know him. I am so happy to remember him and each time I think of our meetings, I think of our shared love for drama and theatrics! I remember the obtuse conversation about “The King and I” when I decided to wear a chili red silk sari with lime green trimmings I got in Rajasthan, during my year of backpacking. I remembered it because of the intelligence of the comments we exchanged about colonialism, in so many Indo-European fashion!

What I did not expect was that Sten would turn our witty conversation into a short play, where he was dressed in British Safari outfit and helmet, making jokes about Colonising the great lakes of Västergötland….although I did not understand the Swedish jokes, I understood the gist of the comedic skit.

As we danced the Polonaise together, I must admit we did “ham it up” ….

But it is true, we only ever saw each other in formal wear, laughing, dancing, drinking and being merry!

I have nothing but positive memories of Sten….and he was right, in my year at Uppsala, more than a few flashed their rings at me…..but none with as much wit, self-deprecating Virgo modesty and open-hearted humour as Sten!

We had our arguments too, at one particular party about “the european class system”….but nothing that a refreshing glass of gin and tonic (my preferred drink at the time), could not help to overcome any awkwardness. Reflecting the gentleman that he was, Sten always told everybody he was bringing me my “lemonades”…..Hahahahaha….to settle my kangaroo nerves in case I fainted from all the excitement! Lol.

Even though we never seemed to bump into one another when I was not in formal dresses and he, in his inherited white tux (from a grandfather or great grandfather or something)….I can honestly say, our friendship transcended time and space, through the pure pleasure of the joy we shared together!

In those special moments in the spring of our youth; knowing in that moment, in our teens, we will never be as carefree and wild as the winter of the Saint Cecilia Ball where the vibrancy of our Energy burned, as incandescent as the candles that illuminated the ancient walls around us!

In this moment, as I write this, with the visual memory of one who became MORE her artistic self, and recognised the kindred spirit of creativity that was Sten in his youth…..I think of another one of those theatrical musicals, that we both enjoyed so well.

No, not High Society, but the refrain from Gigi between Gigi’s Grandmother and Gaston’s Uncle…..and in this particular line, I think of the Sten von Essen, who spent many hours laughing joyfully and salubriously with me …..

I hope it is okay for me to use this song of old nostalgic love, even though Sten and I remained platonic friends….

Sten….
“How strong you were…..how young and gay (joyful)…..

A prince of love, in every way….”

It please me to imagine, in that Gala ball, that party up in the sky, Sten would sing the refrain….

“Yes,….I remember it well…..”

I hope the thought of this, brings a smile to those Sten loved …..

Even though, this Eulogy and tribute to my dear friend, is decades late…I want to say,

“Sten von Essen, Baron or Count, none of it mattered…. you are STILL my kind of witty person!”

Rest in Party,

Glädjen framför allt! Skål!
Cecilia

Minnesvärda getingstick

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