“Eric Northman is nothing like the Real North-men!” Funny!

Following the amazing Rise and Rise of the Viking Vampire character Eric Northman from True Blood in Blog-a-sphere all over the english speaking world,  I ended up having this tangential e-chat with my Nordic friend Bodil and a couple of other “Girls who’ve dated a North-man”. This is a Fun, tongue-in-cheek take on the “Eric Northman; Viking Vampire ” phenomena. Don’t take it too seriously!

For anyone living on Mars: "Eric" is the one on the left! lol.

The whole discourse started with me posting a picture of this Swedish Male Model:

Moi: I don’t know what all the big fuss is but Eric Northman just looks like another guy in a pub in Stockholm. NOW, can you honestly tell me Eric Northman is hot compared to “this Swede”?

Bodil: What he may lack in physical “hotness” (which isn’t bad -exhibit A: True Blood S03E01 somewhere in the first 10 minutes) he makes up for with spades of bad boy charisma, which always won over pure hunky looks in my book 🙂

Moi:  lol.  Bodil…you clearly have your Male Management MBA!

Have you seen this: (Yawn!) slogan “He’s Scandinavian…Let him be naked!” sticker in America about the “North-man”?

Bodil: They have clearly never been spending a weekend in a Swedish forest retreat with built-in sauna and seen 20 of their closest friends in full-on Adam and Eve costume. Professional lighting, camera angles and a lush script does make a difference 😉

Moi: Very true!……think .my worst Sauna story is still…trying to have a serious chat with a Polish Sinologist about the politics of CCP run china in a sauna with naked butt cheek of this Giant Hairy Polish old guy right next to the guy’s face..and I had to try to ignore that and keep talking seriously…thank god, there was a lot of steam!

Bodil: Think it’s called getting the”hairy” (sorry) details straight… If you can do that with a straight face, you can do anything!
😀

Moi: But seriously, I think there’s something to be said about the “North-man” reality & the fantasy….some Danish bloke  says that he still has nightmares of primary school sex education in denmark where they used A LOT more than “stick people” to go into EVERY details about Ovulation! hahaha…its not like that in America (when they still have to lobby to allow “sex education” in the classrooms!)

Bodil: That is exactly right 😀 We started out by writing EVERY single alternative name we could think of for male and female genetalia on the blackbord, it was hysterically funny, us being a bunch of fresh 6th graders and served to get the “elephant” out of the room. No need to say that blackboard was full by the end of class 🙂 Lets just say that I just stared in disbelief when my UK physician asked if I was informed about how to use contraception at the age of 32…

Moi: That’s the NHS for you….closing the gate when the cows have already bolted!  From what I can see, lol. I have a theory that that is why a lot of Scandinavia guys are about as romantic as a “80% tax notification”…too much details in early sex education destroyed the “feminine mystique” for them.. they all got a bit too literal…:P However…they are very good for houseworks, grocery shoppings and you know putting together furnitures & electrical wirings and stuff..for the same reason! 🙂

Bodil: Actually I attribute quite a lot of the lack of romanticism and the good helping out skills to the upbringing by a generation of very womens lib aware parents rather than the sex education. If you’ve been taught from an early age that holding the door and carrying luggage etc. for a woman is sexist and demeaning behavior promoting inequality of the sexes, well.. teenage pregnancies and viral disease on the other hand are way lower in Scandinavia than for example the UK and US. As for E.N., he’s just HOT, even by Scandinavian standards, and will probably have been influenced by the things mentioned above to some degree 😉 (as far as sterotypes go, Swedes are supposed to be more emotionally, if not sexually, repressed than the Danes and Norwegians..make of that what you will 😀 )

Moi:  Seriously though, when my female friends in America OD-s on Sexism in their world, I often recommend a “healthy dose of Swede”(they do not argue back as much & does just as much houseworks as ur average Dane) Maybe that is why Eric Northman the vampire is considered so attractive in the US at the moment?

lol. hehehhe…from an outside objective observors pt of view: the E.N factor goes:

i) For me he looks like a fairly typical Swede , at least amongst the lot I saw in Stockholm……dress-sense slightly average and hmm..political visciousness…only slightly above average…level of blood & carnage …WAY ABOVE AVERAGE! EXCELLENT!

ii) The Buffet of Scandinavian male stereotypes are complicated….Danes are more “back-chatty” but will never be caught dead in a designer suit & they are not Shiny blonde which makes them out of the GQ running.

Swedes are more than willing to wear Beige & tweed, do the same amount of housework but rates higher on the Passive-aggression scale…though they are better at lending you their expensive boy toys and you know they are “proposing” to you if they PLONK an unsolicited Gin& Tonic in front of you ! lol.

Norwegians only speaks when they are slightly drunk..but hangs around like a Bat a lot and occassionally has access to Oil money….which they have no idea how to use cos there is nothing to buy in Norway!:) All of them rate terribly on the Romance scale but high on the Functional furniture assembly factor!

David:  Ladies , for someone so dismissive of Eric Northman you do tend to go on about him a lot. :p Sure you’re not in denial?

Moi:  Nah. When it comes to Vampires….I can Swing bi and go for Pam!

We all love Pam cos she puts the blabbering Eric in his place! as in “blah, blah, vampire emergency, blah”

David:  Wot? The Joanna Lumley lookalike? Ugh …The only vampire who takes my fancy (and more for personality than looks) is young Jessica.

Bodil:  😀

David: Btw, the Swedish guys I’ve met have all been a bit effete.

Moi: hahaha. Good one David…my word of the day (a la Sookie “Stash”-house): Effete Swedes!!!!….hahahaha. I think 70% of Poland will agree with you and 100% of Denmark & Norway! hehehe. This is how you are spending your time as a Professor, hey?

Suddenly in my email inbox, I get these messages from:

A Danish North-man: Yes, Swedes can drink as much as a small kitten before we have to put them back on the Ferry to Malmo (from Kobenavn!)!

A Swedish North-man: Har har…aren’t we funny today? 🙂

A Norwegian North-man: Are beers really that much cheaper in America after you add the tax?

(Sigh!)…its good to know…cultural stereotypes just don’t ever have any semblance to reality?!?

It does make me wonder though…what happens when American women go out looking for an Eric Northman

and discovers “The Real North-men!”….:) The mind boggles…

Moi: Maybe a “Swede-Harmony” (as in E-harmony) thing, where we match Swedish men to American women, in a luxury setting? We can get a Nordic Council Conservation Grant to “Keep Copenhagen clean by clearing drunken Swedish guys off the streets, without having to take them to the Malmo ferry! and just because all Scandinavian guys will be so much Happier in America where they can roam freely with cheaper beers in Ohio? 🙂

Bodil: Brace yourself for some legal action! This could go wrong in so many ways; “My Swede didn’t come with an I can’t tolerate above x amount of beer warning attached”…or something. (now the Swedes are gonna be pissed off too, but what the hell -like the name of the concept though :D)

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